Monday, December 28, 2009
As we were in line to check out, Stevie told me that he saw a kid stuff a DS game into his sweater front. Well, specifically, at first he tried stuffing it down his pants. But that didn't work, so he went with plan B. However, I don't think that the kid thought that he would have an audience because he became pretty flustered with Stevie standing there watching.
Anyway, we told the checker about the little 8 year old klepto. She promptly informed us that when that happens, be sure to contact an employee with a blue vest...duh, that's why we're telling you, lady. So I asked Stevie if he saw the cute klepto kid around and, sure enough, he was with his dad and little sister, checking out. Pointing out the kid to the vibrant blue eye-shadowed checker, we felt that surely justice would be served and the sticky fingers would have a bright red butt before that night was out. But, no. Blue Eye-shadow Lady told Banana Yellow-haired Lady guarding the door, who apparently is not the sharpest knife in the drawer because she stood there and watched them walk right out as the alarm was sounding! And here's the kicker: Apparently, according to Blue Eye-shadow Lady, once the person walks out through the alarm door and out, they can't stop them. What?!
So what does this say about our country? Perhaps you can come up with your own opinion, but here's my two cents. We are just too PC paranoid. Don't ya think? Those employees were so uncomfortable about confronting that dad with the cute shoplifting savvy kid that they simply let him walk out the door. Confrontation? uncomfortable. Accusation? No way! The fear of giving offence kept them from doing the right thing, no matter how uncomfortable it might have been.
As we walked out the door, Blue Eye-shadow Lady gave me a sympathetic smile and said sorry. Sorry? For what? For not doing the right thing? For not teaching that little squirt a lesson? Or sorry for teaching my son another lesson: If you can make it through the front doors with the stolen goods, your free and clear. Now isn't that a valuable lesson to learn. Thanks, Walmart.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
As you know, I have been fairly well behaved this past year. o.k., aside from the occasional deep hatred felt towards a certain control-freakish, obsessive parent, I do make sure that I ask for forgiveness- after I'm tired of getting myself all spun up thinking about all of the horrid things this person has done. Or at least I think that I've asked for forgiveness for all of those times. I promise I'll pray an all encompassing prayer to cover all of this as soon as I'm done with this letter. And I'll make it a true, heartfelt prayer.
So here's the deal, Santa. I want somebody to read my blog!Sorry, but my kids don't count because I make them read it. After all, I gave life to them; it is the least they can do to pay me back. I mean really, is this too much to ask?
Now I'm not bragging or anything,but you know that I work hard on my blog, agonize over templates, hunt for the best songs, and I am diligent to use my dictionary like a good student blogger should. I have learned so much in this journey and have learned my lessons well. Some of those being: No matter how tempting it is, do not write a blog site as if it is written by your pet. No matter how cute you may think it is. Because it's stupid. And a lot of people,unfortunately, do. Also, don't put your pet's head onto a person's dancing body, such as, a dancing elf video. Yikes. double weirdness.Last of all, embrace your spell checker, make it your friend! Or at least attempt to make complete sentences.
You see, to be honest Santa, my real problem is blogger envy. Ever since I found the blog Nat the Fat Rat, who happens to have over 1000 followers (1000!! Holy cow!), I long to post such creative wonders. I've even become a blog stalker, reading every post of hers, ecstatic when she puts a new one on! Is it weird that I know so much about her, yet we've never met? Perhaps this is something serious that will soon be labeled a sickness and a 12 step program will be developed.But will my insurance cover it? Or maybe a scientist will proclaim that I simply have genetic tendencies for blog stalking and can't be cured. What then? Will Obama's health care plan take care of me? Is there any hope for me?!
So Santa, all I want for Christmas is some blog followers who are not ones that I have given birth to. Is that too much to ask? I know that you aren't into healing, that's a Jesus thing, or I'd ask you to rid me of this obsession. Until then, see what you can do. You have any elves that might be interested?
Monday, December 21, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Hooray!!!It snowed!!! Can you see it? Look, the roof is white, o.k.?!
So it didn't snow for very long, but the flakes were huge! and at least for now, for this moment, we have snow. Makes it feel more like Christmas!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Last weekend we decided that it was time to haul all of the Christmas decorations down from the attic and really you know what that means...time to haul all of the nutcrackers down. Now last Christmas I got smarter and piled as many of those little men into big boxes and hefted them up into the attic. But I ran out of boxes, so we still had quite a few nutcrackers in their own individual boxes. Good Grief! Loads upon loads of no-necked, hairy little deformed, barrel-chested, skinny-legged men sporting gaudy capes with gold rickrack and plastic jewels all around. It's really enough to give a little kid some intense nightmares.
Allie and Garrison, will you please move back so that I can unload all of your nutcrackers onto you?
Why did it seem such a good idea and so important to start this quaint, homey tradition when the kids were young?Giving a nutcracker to each kid every year times 5 kids equals an attic full of creepy little men. It seemed wonderful at the time.But no more; time to put a stop to it.Which leads me to wonder; what got out of hand, the tradition or the production of kids?
Allie, just look at all these little men, ready for Baby Henry's first Christmas! HeeHeeHee... I can't wait!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Erin and Megan.
The cutest one of all...just look at those huge blue eyes! And chocolate pie lips too!!! Oliver is turning into such a cutie- pie.Oh yeah, Lindsey doesn't look too bad either.
Thanksgiving turned out to be nice and quite. Mom was supposed to come over, but she managed to do a face plant the day before and broke her nose and cut her forehead. So, she stayed home to heal. Lacy (Megans' friend, and my adopted teenage daughter)was to come over, but needed time with her other family, which is cool.
But Kenneth, a young man we met through a friend came over and experienced his first ever Thanksgiving feast with us. Kenneth is from Uganda, and was a wealth of information! Megan is leaving for Uganda in January ( wow! so soon!), and this was a perfect opportunity to get some questions answered. Not only that, but it was a little convicting for me. This guy has such a love for his country. Currently he is attending SPU and is in the pre-med program. His ultimate goal is to return to Uganda and make a difference. So many people die needlessly, either because they can't get to a doctor, or the hospitals are so poor. But to see the look on his face while he shared about the country that he loves so much was facinating.
And it made me wonder, how many of us consider what we can do to make our country better?
Thursday, November 26, 2009
The featherless Godzilla bird beckoned me to the duel, and I accepted its challenge. Valiantly prying open the gate to its cave, I spied the beast slumbering in its frigid cocoon. Its massive bulk loomed over the pickle jar and 1% jug of milk.
Knowing what must be done, fear gripped my heart and a groan escaped from my lips. I believe I saw Godzilla's skin rise with turkey pimples in the excitement of the coming challenge.
With an expression of grim determination and my pajama sleeves rolled up, I wrestled all thirty-two pounds of turkey flesh out of that cold, carcass lovin' cave. The Beast kicked with its knuckle nubbed legs and pointy beasty wings, but I hefted it into my cage. I was determined to win this battle!
Before the Beast had a chance to escape, I rammed my mighty fist right up that Beasts....well, I better not get into graphic details in order to keep the "G" rating of this post. Anyways, I filled that Beast with my secret ammunition, stuffing its beastly cavity and leaving it defenseless. I do believe that an airy groan escaped from the Beast's headless hole. eewwwww.
But I knew I wasn't done. I needed to finish this Beast off. Imprisoned and stuffed, I tied down the featherless monster, tied his ugly knuckle nubbed legs together. nice and tight. So tight and masterly knotted that he wouldn't be able to slip out and escape from the fiery pit that awaited him.
I had been preparing this beast's fiery hell long before I began the duel, making sure that the pit was nice and hot. But wrestling with the Beast to its final doom would not be easy. I knew that I was close to ending this battle once and for all, but I needed all of the strength that I could muster. Grabbing hold of the mighty cage in which I had snared Godzilla in, I hefted the mass of tied turkey flesh and stumbled the few steps with it to its final resting place. In the padding of my stocking feet I believe that I heard a whispered, "Dead turkey walkin'," echo in the early morning hours of my kitchen.
So I ended the fight, finished the feud, and won. I had conquered. And my reward? I fed that featherless,clammy skinned, Godzilla monster Beast to my little clan. They pounced upon its golden carcass and devoured him up, like hyenas on a gazelle, tigers on a water buffalo, rabid dogs on a cute little defenceless kitten. Yum.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
And what happened then...?
That the Grinch's small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
On Saturday, November 14th, we (Jack and I) crammed two monster birds into a large dog crate and drove them to the butchering procession. Gross. I was grateful that we didn't have to do the deed ourselves, but we did participate in the cleaning of the birds. I will say no more. And you can mutter a "thank you, God" under your breath for no pictures posted here to remember the day.
With that done and a bird in the refrigerator, which, by the way, weighed in at 30 and 32 pounds each, I can say that we will be enjoying a hormone and antibiotic-free, grossly mammoth roast beast this Thanksgiving!
May yours be a merry, hormone-free holiday!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I picked up a magazine titled," The Hobby Farm".Looking through it I saw very clean, very happy,very clean,color coordinated, clean "farmers" on new, clean, shiny clean farm equipment.People who farm for fun and profit. I said fun and PROFIT.Yeah, right.
Our Hobby Farm
O.k., we have
I don't know how many chickens,
four useless dogs
and one very stupid cat. Stupid cat is not pictured. Note shredded screen door. You see what I'm dealing with here? Stupid cat.
Our little farm (12.5 acres) is fun, especially when the sun is shining and there are fresh veggies to glean from the little pitiful garden I created. Or the times I climb up on my old horse for a ride. But this time of the year, when the pasture is a mud pit and I suddenly discover that there is a leak in my boot,
and it's dark out at 4:00pm and I have to trudge out to feed with a flashlight when it's raining pitch forks (one of many G'ma sayings that I'm trying to incorporate into my daily conversations) it's not what I call fun.
I Must Be a Millionare
And the profit thing?What?!! O.k., so maybe I sell a dozen eggs for 4 dollars. However, I feed about one bag every two weeks at 15 dollars a bag.Not to mention that the few hens that are laying have now decided to hide their eggs from me.
I know that I did this to myself, so I can't blame any one else!In May I picked up two cute turkeys because, after all, our 12 year old never had this experience.Poor thing.And now these two godzilla birds devour a bag of feed a week and scare the poop out of me when they squeeze themselves out of the coop to eat!!I am avoiding the day that we have to do the deed...
But yet I wouldn't trade it for a spec. house in town. Yuck.
I love hearing my Rocky whinny a good morning to me ;watch our son tear up the back acreage on his ATV; hear the squack of a pheasant smart enough to elude the hunters, and pause to enjoy the sun rising over the pasture next door while the fog still lays sleeping on the ground.
O.k., I'll keep my hobbies.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Hmmm... I always have grand ideas of writing long, witty blogs, like the ones that I have flagged and keep up on.
It feels kind of like stalking...I don't know these people, and it amazes me how open some of them are! And through it, I'm kind of getting to know them. Weird. Two of my favorite blogs are both sooo different from each other. Cath's pennies at http://cathspennies.blogspot.com/ is this older lady who is obsessed with creating and designing these candle mats and table runners. (What's a candle mat anyway, and who really needs a mat for their candle? But they are so cute!!) You should look at them. Makes you want to sew something. Or just think about sewing something. At least it makes me feel like I'm being creative just by looking at all of her adorable little fabric scraps.
The other blog that I'm snooping on is by this New York city gal who moved to London. All that I really know is that she is a married Mormon with two really cute dogs. I don't really care about the Mormon thing, but she mentions it a lot. Not to mention that she has this really big bulletin on the side of her blog that says, "I'm a Mormon" and for a while I was misreading it as, "I'm a Moron!"Anyways, that's about all that I know about this gal. But she is funny! and I sooo wish that I could write like her. Just on and on of thoughts randomly running through her brain and out onto her blog, but it is stuff that anyone can really relate to. At least I think so. Her blog, Nat the Fat Rat, has over 1000 followers- isn't that crazy? that means that over 1000 people, who probably don't even know her, know her. Wow.
So I was really hoping that I could be blogger savy and put a link to both of those blogs. Obviously I need to have the "I'm a Moron" in really big letters on my blog.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
We climbed into this gondola for our trip up the mountain.
The view of Vancouver, WAAAAAY up in the air!
The view from down below. Scary!
Once up on the mountain, we headed over to the Indian chief lodge (oops, in mean First Nation, got to get used to that), where we heard stories, chanting and then had the privilege of dancing as wolves and eagles. Boogie down, Stevie!
After the dancing and signing, we had science time. Learning about the ecosystem and identifying prints and skeletons of animals in the area made for a pretty exciting experience!
Gondola track at the top.
One of the ski lifts.
One of the two bears up there.
The gondola when it comes in at the top.
The kids gathered aroung the "Grandmother Tree". Can you tell that Anna and Stevie were paying attention? Not!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
While Steven and I enjoyed a talk from the ranger, Stevie and Karli found a chipmunk that was happy to hang out with them.
- ► 2010 (41)
- ▼ Dec 28 (2)
- ► November (9)
- ► October (3)
- ► April (20)
- ▼ December (8)