Dear Santa

Dear Santa,


As you know, I have been fairly well behaved this past year. o.k., aside from the occasional deep hatred felt towards a certain control-freakish, obsessive parent, I do make sure that I ask for forgiveness- after I'm tired of getting myself all spun up thinking about all of the horrid things this person has done. Or at least I think that I've asked for forgiveness for all of those times. I promise I'll pray an all encompassing prayer to cover all of this as soon as I'm done with this letter. And I'll make it a true, heartfelt prayer.


So here's the deal, Santa. I want somebody to read my blog!Sorry, but my kids don't count because I make them read it. After all, I gave life to them; it is the least they can do to pay me back. I mean really, is this too much to ask?



Now I'm not bragging or anything,but you know that I work hard on my blog, agonize over templates, hunt for the best songs, and I am diligent to use my dictionary like a good student blogger should. I have learned so much in this journey and have learned my lessons well. Some of those being: No matter how tempting it is, do not write a blog site as if it is written by your pet. No matter how cute you may think it is. Because it's stupid. And a lot of people,unfortunately, do. Also, don't put your pet's head onto a person's dancing body, such as, a dancing elf video. Yikes. double weirdness.Last of all, embrace your spell checker, make it your friend! Or at least attempt to make complete sentences.



You see, to be honest Santa, my real problem is blogger envy. Ever since I found the blog Nat the Fat Rat, who happens to have over 1000 followers (1000!! Holy cow!), I long to post such creative wonders. I've even become a blog stalker, reading every post of hers, ecstatic when she puts a new one on! Is it weird that I know so much about her, yet we've never met? Perhaps this is something serious that will soon be labeled a sickness and a 12 step program will be developed.But will my insurance cover it? Or maybe a scientist will proclaim that I simply have genetic tendencies for blog stalking and can't be cured. What then? Will Obama's health care plan take care of me? Is there any hope for me?!



So Santa, all I want for Christmas is some blog followers who are not ones that I have given birth to. Is that too much to ask? I know that you aren't into healing, that's a Jesus thing, or I'd ask you to rid me of this obsession. Until then, see what you can do. You have any elves that might be interested?



-Me

While Others March to the Beat of a Different Drum

I love the Christmas season, especially the holiday concerts, don't you? You get to see your kid up on stage, doing something that (most) would NEVER do on their own. It was Karli's year to be up there with her choir class. She dodges the camera continuously, but she couldn't avoid it this time!

I especially love this: The teacher said that you must wear a white shirt and black pants or skirt. Karli didn't have any black pants so she had to wear the skirt-a near death experience. But you know, the teacher said nothing about the shoes. Although I packed the nice shoes in her bag, the polka -dotted brown tennies mysteriously made their way onto her feet. ( Note the feet at the end). However, as the picture details the silent shoe rebellion, another set of toes decided to don the similar fair.But hey, at least the kid had red and green socks on, right?

Why is it that when we are Karli's age we love to be just a little bit different, but lose that later? Or at least I have. How many of us are so quick to want to fit in, to be like everyone else, when really, everyone else is just trying to be like everyone else, and really, who is it that we are then following? I mean, really?!

Maybe I need to buy me some polka-dotted brown tennies.

Uhhh... what? I have something in my teeth?

Have you ever had one of those days? Thinkin' that your all that and a bag of chips, only to discover that your zipper is down. Or a big clump of hay is in your hair. Or there is a gross, rotting veggie stuck between your teeth. I thank God that nothing too humilitating has happened to me while teaching...yet.

The other day one of my 8th graders decided to have a staring contest with me...while I was giving them their assignment... very annoying...and I was NOT going to let her win. However, she blinked first (heehee). The next day I moved her cute little sassyness away from her friends...because I can.

Yeah, it's fun being the teacher.

Let it snow!!!!!!!

Hooray!!!It snowed!!! Can you see it? Look, the roof is white, o.k.?!

Missed it? still can't see it? O.k., here's a close-up view.

So it didn't snow for very long, but the flakes were huge! and at least for now, for this moment, we have snow. Makes it feel more like Christmas!

Christmas Traditions

Last weekend we decided that it was time to haul all of the Christmas decorations down from the attic and really you know what that means...time to haul all of the nutcrackers down. Now last Christmas I got smarter and piled as many of those little men into big boxes and hefted them up into the attic. But I ran out of boxes, so we still had quite a few nutcrackers in their own individual boxes. Good Grief! Loads upon loads of no-necked, hairy little deformed, barrel-chested, skinny-legged men sporting gaudy capes with gold rickrack and plastic jewels all around. It's really enough to give a little kid some intense nightmares.

Allie and Garrison, will you please move back so that I can unload all of your nutcrackers onto you?

Why did it seem such a good idea and so important to start this quaint, homey tradition when the kids were young?Giving a nutcracker to each kid every year times 5 kids equals an attic full of creepy little men. It seemed wonderful at the time.But no more; time to put a stop to it.Which leads me to wonder; what got out of hand, the tradition or the production of kids?

Allie, just look at all these little men, ready for Baby Henry's first Christmas! HeeHeeHee... I can't wait!

Just some cutie-pie Thanksgiving Day pictures

Lindsey, Hannah, Megan and Erin hangin' out after Thanksgiving Day pie!!




Erin and Megan.



The cutest one of all...just look at those huge blue eyes! And chocolate pie lips too!!! Oliver is turning into such a cutie- pie.Oh yeah, Lindsey doesn't look too bad either.


Thanksgiving turned out to be nice and quite. Mom was supposed to come over, but she managed to do a face plant the day before and broke her nose and cut her forehead. So, she stayed home to heal. Lacy (Megans' friend, and my adopted teenage daughter)was to come over, but needed time with her other family, which is cool.

But Kenneth, a young man we met through a friend came over and experienced his first ever Thanksgiving feast with us. Kenneth is from Uganda, and was a wealth of information! Megan is leaving for Uganda in January ( wow! so soon!), and this was a perfect opportunity to get some questions answered. Not only that, but it was a little convicting for me. This guy has such a love for his country. Currently he is attending SPU and is in the pre-med program. His ultimate goal is to return to Uganda and make a difference. So many people die needlessly, either because they can't get to a doctor, or the hospitals are so poor. But to see the look on his face while he shared about the country that he loves so much was facinating.

And it made me wonder, how many of us consider what we can do to make our country better?

The Duel

The Beast called from it's cold, dark abyss. In the quiet dawn, it's whisper echoed in the empty halls, up the quiet stairs, and into my room. I awoke, and silently, stealthily, crept to its lair where it waited...patiently...for me.

The featherless Godzilla bird beckoned me to the duel, and I accepted its challenge. Valiantly prying open the gate to its cave, I spied the beast slumbering in its frigid cocoon. Its massive bulk loomed over the pickle jar and 1% jug of milk.

Knowing what must be done, fear gripped my heart and a groan escaped from my lips. I believe I saw Godzilla's skin rise with turkey pimples in the excitement of the coming challenge.

With an expression of grim determination and my pajama sleeves rolled up, I wrestled all thirty-two pounds of turkey flesh out of that cold, carcass lovin' cave. The Beast kicked with its knuckle nubbed legs and pointy beasty wings, but I hefted it into my cage. I was determined to win this battle!

Before the Beast had a chance to escape, I rammed my mighty fist right up that Beasts....well, I better not get into graphic details in order to keep the "G" rating of this post. Anyways, I filled that Beast with my secret ammunition, stuffing its beastly cavity and leaving it defenseless. I do believe that an airy groan escaped from the Beast's headless hole. eewwwww.

But I knew I wasn't done. I needed to finish this Beast off. Imprisoned and stuffed, I tied down the featherless monster, tied his ugly knuckle nubbed legs together. nice and tight. So tight and masterly knotted that he wouldn't be able to slip out and escape from the fiery pit that awaited him.

I had been preparing this beast's fiery hell long before I began the duel, making sure that the pit was nice and hot. But wrestling with the Beast to its final doom would not be easy. I knew that I was close to ending this battle once and for all, but I needed all of the strength that I could muster. Grabbing hold of the mighty cage in which I had snared Godzilla in, I hefted the mass of tied turkey flesh and stumbled the few steps with it to its final resting place. In the padding of my stocking feet I believe that I heard a whispered, "Dead turkey walkin'," echo in the early morning hours of my kitchen.









So I ended the fight, finished the feud, and won. I had conquered. And my reward? I fed that featherless,clammy skinned, Godzilla monster Beast to my little clan. They pounced upon its golden carcass and devoured him up, like hyenas on a gazelle, tigers on a water buffalo, rabid dogs on a cute little defenceless kitten. Yum.

I love being a carnivore. Don't you?

I HOPE THAT YOU ALL HAD A HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!